Fast forward more than 12 years since our first date and almost 11 years married (we will hit that on June 22nd, 2013) and we are still going strong. 2 babies. 2 dogs. 2 carriers. ...and honestly I don't know how we do it most days, but the man still gives me butterflies each time he kisses me. NOW -- let me be very clear, this 12 years hasn't been all rainbows and glitter ..we have been through a lot, and at times wondered if we weren't going to make it because of the rough patches, but we always come back together...stronger.
So I decided, since many people don't take the time to always reflect on the ones that they love like they should, that I would take a moment and share the top 11 things that I have learned in the almost 11 years that we have been married.
1. In Hard Times He Is My Rock
Palmer is a very quiet-don't-show-my-feelings-do-things-for-myself kind of person. He expect the same from me, he doesn't enjoy sitting around on dwelling over situations that can't be controlled, nor does he enjoy when I ask him to help me with stuff that he things I should just do myself. However, when we have gone through two incredibly hard moments in our marriage (I will explain later) he never once questioned my needing him, asking him for help, or sitting around for hours crying and talking myself in circles. While generally it annoys the piss out of me that he is how he is, it is moments like those that make me wonder if he is just storing it up for when I need it!
2. He Is An Incredible Father
Our children decided when they were going to enter this world they were going to do so in a very dramatic-give-my-parents-a-mental-break down kind of way. Kouper's horrid entry in to this world I guess you could blame on me because I fell straight on my belly from about 5 stairs up. The fall ruptured my placenta so that it was taking blood away from him but not giving him new blood. After 1 day of watching him after my fall in the hospital, they did and emergency C-Section and he graced us 1 month early and not looking too hot. Blood transfusions, respirators incubators and many many tears entered out lives. Endless hours at a hospital looking at him in a plastic box, wishing that I could hold him and love him was what days consisted of. 1 month later our wishing came true and he came home...then 6 years later Makenzie graced us with her presents. No falls, no scared, the ideal picture of what a pregnancy should be...but what do you know, she wanted to be just like her brother! She aspirated fluid during the C-section and had to be ambulance to Tacoma Gens NICU wing. She was a lot better off than Kouper was, but Mom and Dad were still in shock. She came home 4 days later!!!!!
Here we are 2 years after Makenzie, and we are doing amazing. Kouper is wrestling trying to be just like his Daddy, and Mak is a total Daddy's girl. Snuggles him, loves him, and over all makes him think that he needs to by more guns for the future because she has pouty lips and big brown eyes! There is nothing that he wouldn't do for his kids to see them smile -- and in someways, I think that he appreciates them a little bit more because of everything that we have been through.
(Kouper and Ryan in Leavenworth Sledding - 2010)
3. Palmer + Video Games = Package Deal
While I am a total teckie and I love to have all of the newest and greatest toys, but I was never on that had any desire to sit down in front of a TV and play video games for hours. Ryan does however. I have known him to waste many of Saturdays sitting there shotting up people and fighting with 12 year olds over Call of Duty. Guess I can't complain tho because I can spend an entire weekend watching Sex and the City.
4. He Keeps Me Grounded
I by nature am a very spontaneous person...I like to get in the car not sure where I am going and make an adventure out of it. Ryan however likes to have a plan, like to know what the end game is, and honestly with kids...this a very reassuring. While the spontaneous person is still in there and breaks free every now and then, I see myself taking on more of the planning rolls. I learned from the best on that one.
5. Disneyland Is Not His Cup o Tea
There are many years where we go to Disneyland for a family vacation, and I have learned that my husband would rather go almost anywhere other than Disneyland. He doesn't like the lines, the croweds nor does he enjoy the over priced everything after you walk in the gates of the park. We have been working on finding different destination vacations to go on that way he doesn't have to suffer in the happiest place on earth.
6. He Is A Lover Of Beer
Now don't take that the wrong way. When I say that he is a over of beer -- I do mean that he seaks out new and different beers. To him beer is like a fine wine, should be savored and enjoyed slowly...not to rushed. Over the past few years we have become regulars a different beer fests and different beer runs. It is always enjoyable watching him examine the cups, read the discriptions and make his tasting selection from that. You can see his mind working -- and it fascinates me because I do NOT enjoy beer in any way. However, while he goes and tries, I love that he always comes back to his favorite...Guinness! Can't beat perfection in brewed motor oil, I guess! (See I don't get it at all!)
Portland International Beer Fest 2012
7. He Isn't A Phone Talker nor Texter
As much as I would like to text and talk to my husband all day long, that isn't going to happen...nor has it happened since about the time we got engaged. He is not known for a person that talks alot, opposed to myself. I always tell people once you get to know him he is chatty as hell -- but that is limited. LOL. He is amazing and we have great conversations, and I have to tell you that I do wish at times that I had a husband that wanted to text all day and or call me multiple times a day to make me feel special - but then again maybe it is a blessing that he isn't like that because I might not get any work done if I was talking to him all day.
8. Ryan Does Not Like Asperagas...Period.
8. Ryan Does Not Like Asperagas...Period.
Not much more to say -- he hates the stuff, and slightly pouts when I cook it an make him eat it in order to set a good example for the kids.
9. Ryan Is A Biker At Heart
About a year ago we started hanging out with some amazing people that have since become like family to us, but they all ride motorcycles. They are a part of a motorcycle group, and the VFW. Ryan was interested in helping out and starting a new venture in his live on two wheels. He bought a started motorcycle last April and never looked back. He looks amazing on it -- however it was brilliant when he attempted to make a right turn on the bike after being on it for 3 minutes and he dropped it. Gas everywhere, ego broken, and defeat in the air -- he didn't look back and is now going on long rides and loving feeling the wind in his hair!
10. Cleaning Is The Key To His Heart
As much as I hate it...the key to Ryan's heart is cleaning. Not food, lovin, gifts...NOTHING! I do not enjoy the cleaning on a daily basis...I do not enjoy doing laundry, vacuuming, or anything else that falls under the category of cleaning. Especially DUSTING...because I have allergy attacks. But alas, when I feel like making him feel special and loved I break out the swifter sweeper and get business gone!
11. Silence Isnt' Bad
I am not a fan of a quiet house all the time or sitting around with no conversation for long periods of time. However, I have come to learn through many years that just sitting together and enjoying each other are some of the best times that we have together. I love just bring around him...and it took many years of training on his part to make me realize that.
No matter what happens or how many other things I could add to this list, the long and short of it is that I am married to an amazing man...who still yearly and daily manages to show me another layer to who he is. I love that after more than a decade together we are still exploring and growing.
Till next time,
xoxo - Meg
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